Stuart Maconie writes an amusing guide how to write about the North

Try to evoke a vague, slightly chilly sense of up-thereness and isolation. Mention any traffic problems on your journey, failure of lineside equipment near Stockport or any particularly awful baguette you were offered on the train. Ask: did you know they have wi-fi and sushi?

via Rob Hudson

It should probably be read alongside Boris Johnson’s “of our species” speech, don’t you think?